You want to know why
Nov. 7th, 2003 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
framlingemThe main reason is that I'm a coward. I just don't have the courage to tell you what I have to, because I do care about you, despite what I did, and I did what I did because I didn't want to hurt you.
So I guess this is 'official'.
I can't give you what would make you happy forever, and you can't give me what would mae me happy forever. We'd love each other, but one of us would have to give up something else we love dearly - and so one of us wouldn't be truly happy.
You're like an oak - big and beautiful and strong and deeply rooted, and to uproot you would hurt you. I'm more like... oh, a migratory bird, cliched as that is, and I just can't stay in one place.
But that's the future. I can't give you what you enjoy in the present - someone to touch and hold. I can't be with you, and you don't deserve that. There's someone out there wh can give you everything I can't - commitment, stability, all the little touching things. She's beautiful and intelligent, and probably has a yen for Mercdes Lackey and Rumiko Takahashi, and she'll let you stroke her and enjoy your chivalry. That's what you need that I can't give you.
And what do I need? I need someone who'll admit that I can open my own doors and carry my own bags, someone I can be quiet with, who doesn't need to be touching me. Don't get me wrong - you are wonderful and funny and good to be with, but eventualy you'd have realised that I'm emotionally crippled when it comes to any physical aspects of a relationship. It is NOT your fault. I love hugs, big firm ones, but that's about all I can stand.
I loved dancing with you this summer, for the short time we danced, but you can't dance with a ghost, and I'm happier dancing alone so that I can't step on anyone's toes.
I apologise for making this public, but I want to be completely honest, and for me that means admitting to everyone that I've been cruel in my cowardice, and I hate that I've done that. I hate that I've probably cost myself your friendship, and that my fear of hurting you probably hurt you worse. I hate that every sad song on the radio accuses me, bcause face it, I'm the bitch.
And I am so sorry.
So I guess this is 'official'.
I can't give you what would make you happy forever, and you can't give me what would mae me happy forever. We'd love each other, but one of us would have to give up something else we love dearly - and so one of us wouldn't be truly happy.
You're like an oak - big and beautiful and strong and deeply rooted, and to uproot you would hurt you. I'm more like... oh, a migratory bird, cliched as that is, and I just can't stay in one place.
But that's the future. I can't give you what you enjoy in the present - someone to touch and hold. I can't be with you, and you don't deserve that. There's someone out there wh can give you everything I can't - commitment, stability, all the little touching things. She's beautiful and intelligent, and probably has a yen for Mercdes Lackey and Rumiko Takahashi, and she'll let you stroke her and enjoy your chivalry. That's what you need that I can't give you.
And what do I need? I need someone who'll admit that I can open my own doors and carry my own bags, someone I can be quiet with, who doesn't need to be touching me. Don't get me wrong - you are wonderful and funny and good to be with, but eventualy you'd have realised that I'm emotionally crippled when it comes to any physical aspects of a relationship. It is NOT your fault. I love hugs, big firm ones, but that's about all I can stand.
I loved dancing with you this summer, for the short time we danced, but you can't dance with a ghost, and I'm happier dancing alone so that I can't step on anyone's toes.
I apologise for making this public, but I want to be completely honest, and for me that means admitting to everyone that I've been cruel in my cowardice, and I hate that I've done that. I hate that I've probably cost myself your friendship, and that my fear of hurting you probably hurt you worse. I hate that every sad song on the radio accuses me, bcause face it, I'm the bitch.
And I am so sorry.
